Leaked Tesla employee handbook is as ridiculous as Elon Musk's Twitter
An alleged copy of Tesla's self-titled "Anti-Handbook Handbook" for new employees leaked and, like Elon Musk himself, it's absolutely desperate to sound cooler than it actually is.
Reading like the worst – or best? – of Musk's Twitter feed, the four-page document (published by Business Insider on Thursday) is ostensibly standard workplace culture policies, only those policies are described in overly familiar, self-aggrandizing, and unnecessarily aggro tones.
Tweet may have been deleted
"We're Tesla. We're changing the world. We're willing to rethink everything," it starts. "We're different and we like it that way. Being different allows us to do what no one else is doing; to do what others tell us is impossible."
Mashable reached out to Tesla for comment on Sunday, but the company didn't respond in time for publication.
Tesla's high expectation that employees actively invest in every aspect of the company's success is the handbook's main running theme. Some laudable yet (again) still less-than radical open-door policies include encouraging employees to ask questions, voice concerns, or pitch ideas even if it's outside their department. You can even email Elon himself!
SEE ALSO:Elon Musk drops techno track 'Don't Doubt Your Vibe' and it's better than you thinkBut it's the unprompted combativeness that smacks most of the trademark Elon Muskiness that people seem to either love or love to hate.
"We want to surround ourselves with people driven to do the right things and act with integrity even when no one is looking," it states, followed by the warning that, “If this isn’t you, you’ll be more successful somewhere else. We don’t mean to sound harsh; it’s just the truth.”
This handbook smokes pot on the Joe Rogan Podcast. Deal with it!
This isn't your dad's corporate handbook, Tesla's Anti-Handbook Handbook insists. This handbook smokes pot on the Joe Rogan Podcast. Deal with it! And don't harsh its vibe!
"If you're looking for a traditional employee handbook filled with policies and rules, you won't find one," it cautions, before proceeding to list a bunch of traditional policies and rules.
It covers topics like trust ("we won't change our approach because of the few who let us down. Instead, we let them go,") tardiness ("this isn't school,") attendance ("if you can't be reliable... you'll be asked to leave [and it might not be a choice,]") vacation and sick days ("don't get the rest of us sick"), and no-shows ("if you don't call and don't show up for work, you're a jerk.")
Sections titled "Stupid Stuff" and "Fun," are what truly solidify the Tesla Anti-Handbook Handbook as the corporate equivalent of that high school teacher who rolls up his sleeves to address the class while sitting backward in a chair.
"We can’t afford to waste time dealing with stupid stuff when we have so many important things to get done," the Stupid Stuff section states sternly. The Fun section tries to play good cop, but still somehow makes telling employees to "make sure you’re having fun at work" sound like a vague threat. Because, "if you aren’t having fun at some level, you’ll be unhappy. We don’t want that."
The anti-handbook is light on, if not completely bereft of, mentions of major workplace concerns like sexual harassment, racism, diversity, or inclusivity. Presumably, that's what the section at the very bottom directing new employees to Human Resources is for.
Oh Elon! Never change! We're sure that's even a policy in your own personal anti-handbook for how to Musk.
(责任编辑:行业动态)
- 'Black Myth: Wukong' PS5 review in progress: A potential masterpiece
- “家电下乡”范围再扩大
- Wrestler Zaman ‘happy’ to be flag
- Twitter is not a fan of Jimmy Fallon's Chris Rock impression
- Google Gemini now allows AI
- 13 Places to Find Little Legends and Compact Cryptids
- What will Pyongyang expect from return of Chung
- Cat comes to the rescue and unlocks door for its owner stuck outside
- Future studies society to discuss Korea's future challenges
- “新丰味”喜获中国首届县域品牌擂台赛十大营销创新品牌
- 茶都一样,你泡的咋比我泡的安逸呢
- Man spotted skiing with the help of a horse
- “家电下乡”范围再扩大
-
A Barbie flip phone is here from HMD
This summer was Brat summer. We're approaching demure fall, which may transition into a season with ...[详细] -
North Korea stole $300 million in crypto to fund nukes: UN experts
In this photo provided by the North Korean government, North Korean leader Kim Jong-un attends at a ...[详细] -
12 Ways Black Friday 2013 Will Be Different
As the official starter for the holiday shopping season, Black Friday is expected to be a frenzy of ...[详细] -
雅安日报讯 日前,中国网联网公布了2010年1月全国新闻网站排名,北纬网位居第84位。四川省内的新闻网站中,排名进入前一百位的,只有北纬网和四川在线两家。新华网、人民网、央视网、中国新闻网分列榜单前 ...[详细]
-
You're playing the latest Call of Mario: Deathduty Battleyardon your perfect gaming PC. You're looki ...[详细]
-
Judge trying the Statue of Liberty climber wants to make the climb too
U.S. Magistrate Judge Gabriel Gorenstein might be a little too curious about the crime he's overseei ...[详细] -
Very important: The best and worst beards of the Golden Globes
The Golden Globes were filled with glitz, glamour and beards. From the scraggly to the scruffy, bear ...[详细] -
U.N. Security Council holds emergency meeting on N.K missile launches
The U.N. Security Council held an emergency meeting Wednesday to discuss North Korea's latest test o ...[详细] -
NASA says Earth just had the hottest day ever recorded
In the 1800s, pioneering scientists foresaw how carbon in the air could warm Earth. By 1938, English ...[详细] -
“家电下乡”这一惠民政策,让广大农村消费者在用上新家电产品的同时,也享受到了国家的惠民政策。今年1月,财政部、商务部、工信部等联合发布通知,将12类下乡产品限价范围大幅提高,如彩电和手机的最高限价提 ...[详细]
- Weather update for second Pak vs Ban second Test match day one
- Judge trying the Statue of Liberty climber wants to make the climb too
- Havelian to have modern sports complex
- Ted Cruz issues China an epic eye roll, saying it can't tell the U.S. what to do
- Best smartphone deal: Google Pixel 8a on sale for $449 at Amazon
- 黎娜:初入油茶行业的活力“新兵”
- Only 'high